As I get older I see… you have to just look like THIS [Puts hands around sides of eyes like horse blinders] you know? Pick one direction. Go that direction. Maybe it’s not the perfect way but at least it’s a way – better than going in circles and getting nowhere."
"At that age I was always looking THERE, NO THERE, OR THERE, OR THERE [Waves hands gesticulating in different directions]. I was always trying to do something different, you know, always distracted. There were so many different opportunities and I was very confused on which one was the RIGHT one.
As I get older I see… you have to just look like THIS [Puts hands around sides of eyes like horse blinders] you know? Pick one direction. Go that direction. Maybe it’s not the perfect way but at least it’s a way – better than going in circles and getting nowhere." I did not interview Krista Tippet (I wish). In the "Mystery and Art of Living" episode of her podcast On Being, writer Pico Iyer turns the tables on host Krista by asking her the questions. This is just a quote from the show in which which you can listen to in total here. "I ended up stressing in the book, and I had to keep reminding myself to stress that-- talking about wisdom and virtue -- that these are pleasurable things, right? That life is better. That your step is lighter. That pleasure and delight itself is a virtue. I'm kind of intense, right? I've been kind of intense in my life. And I talk in the book that my childhood made me that way too. And it's also been a gift. But... I've often... "You need to ground yourself in something. It could be a faith, it could be a community, but you need something to really take root in. And practice it every week. For us, it's Sundays, but it doesn't have to be.
Life has these ups and downs. Having something you really ground yourself in helps you get through those. It also helps if you find a partner who has the same value. Then it's not a weekly reminder, it's every day. You'll both be better for it." Andy: [In regards to balancing CEO-ship with family] "I've found it's really important to set aside a specific time. I do weekends. All week I'm checking my email, checking my phone... but Saturdays, no. My team has my phone number if there's a real emergency. But that's my time with family." Kate: "So I do this blog [insert explanation]. Is that what you wish you had known when you were 25? Conscientiously setting aside time?" Andy: "Absolutely. Take some time to relax. You need time to think. You need time to figure out solutions to problems. You know, I have my best ideas when I'm out on a bike ride. The right partner helps too. Kate: "But what is the right partner? I mean, what does that mean?" Andy: "Well in some senses you just know, but I guess that's not very practical. I tell my daughters -- find someone who gets you. Find someone you can absolutely be yourself around. I married my friend's sister. She came over for a party at my house and we just talked for hours. I remember my friend coming over at the end of the night and saying they needed to leave and I just didn't know where the time had gone. Your going to be with this person for a long time -- you shouldn't feel like you have to be 'on' or anything other than yourself with them. It should be effortless." Rondo: "You know what? I'm glad I didn't know. If I knew what I know now, I would have lived a much more conventional life. I've never worked a job for more than a year. I've lived all over the world. I've guided raft trips down the Grand Canyon, been on the cover of Outdoor Magazine, mountain biked everywhere you can imagine... and I wouldn't have done that stuff if I'd had all the concerns I do now. I was always seeking, you know-- Kate: "That's something a lot of people have talked about. Seeking something in your 20s -- like meaning, or--" Rondo: "No. Never meaning. I never needed meaning. I was just seeking to learn. I was seeking to adventure. Meaning... maybe that comes along the way. Maybe it doesn't. But the experiences on the journey-- I wouldn't trade those for the world. -- Rapid Creek Cycles is the third bike shop Rondo has owned. He starts shops in towns that need an economic lift and uses them to bring excitement and tourism to the area. I'd say he's found some meaning. If you're passing through western Colorado, stop in Palisade for wine tours, mountain biking, rafting, paddle boarding or just saying hi to Rondo.
Bill: I was… Hmm. You know, when you graduate matters. The economy had just crashed when I graduated. There was no work available to anybody at the time. I started working with my brother at a car dealership. And then I just… stayed there. For 5 years.
I got so wrapped up in everything. And I guess because jobs had been so few and far between when I was first looking, I was scared to leave and not find something else. You also have to understand -- back when I graduated, it was much more taboo to try a bunch of different jobs. You were supposed to -- you know-- pick a thing and stick to it and build a life. It was just starting to change at that point but jumping around was still considered taboo. Mick: 25? I was a planner. I already had my life planned out at 25. Kate: What and the plan actually worked? Lots of 25 year olds have plans, but usually those plans are destroyed by 26 and you’re devastated by 27, right? Mick: Nah, I pretty much had it figured out. I wanted to be a pilot with United Airlines. By 25 I was working as a pilot with United Airlines. Had a great career with them and I still fly. Course, now I fly private corporate jets. You’d be amazed how much money these people have by the way. Kate: Wow. You're... the only one who has said that. Mick: I will say this — things are different now. You can’t just do that anymore. I’ve got three kids and I’m always telling them: Your generation needs to be proactive. You seen that movie “Shift Happens”? Jean: When I was 25, I was living with a woman who was very religious. I mean VERY religious. Like, every night reading her bible. I didn’t understand. I didn’t see how ‘believing’ made any sense. I remember asking her all these questions – “Why do you do this? How can you believe these things?” We later broke up, and then I had another difficult relationship that also ended up in a break up. At that point I was living alone in an apartment in Montreal, while things weren’t going well with my PhD either. This was a period of my life when I felt lost, isolated, heartbroken, and in a state of desperation and anger. I couldn’t understand why everything was going so wrong. That’s when I started to ask, you know, the big questions about the meaning of life, and trying to find a solution. "Find someone you love with your body, your mind AND your soul.
"Don't chase the pussy, chase the money.
Lila: I would say to just be less serious. Noah: What does that actually mean though? Like, in practicality? Lila: I don't know, I was just so serious back then. Serious about my job, serious about money... I worried about everything. I still drank a lot, more than I do now-- Noah: Well, we still drink a fair amount-- Lila: You know what I mean! I wish I had just taken more time to be a kid-- be a 25 year old kid, whatever that means. What's your answer? Probably nothing, you had a great time as a 25 year old. Noah: Yeah that is a hard question. Because everything I did worked out so well that I wouldn't really change much. (Pause for dishes and thinking) Noah: I would say, one of the best things I did as a 25 year old is have really intense year-long relationships without any thought of marriage. "Stan the Man" of P2P Cycling, from his hospital bed on lots of painkillers, still smiling.10/28/2015
"Figure out who you are first. And figure out what matters. Like, friendship matters, but what kind of friendship? Career matters, but what kind of career? Family matters, but what kind of family? I'm so at peace today. I'm so much more at peace than I ever have been. Look at me, I'm a wreck. On the surface, there's not a whole lot going right in my life right now. But I'm so at peace. This pain I'm feeling? It's just pain. It's the same thing as the frustration you might feel over some burnt toast. This pain doesn't define me. It can't hurt me because it isn't me. Figure out who you are and what matters to you, and the rest is just sensations that float by on the journey. There's facts and there's perceptions and the perceptions are all bullshit anyway. And if it's all bullshit, why shouldn't we bullshit ourselves happy?" "Oh man. My biggest mistake was when I was buying my first house. I got GOT you know what I'm saying? They really sold me.
Do your OWN research before you buy a house. Don't trust what nobody tells you." "Make a point to develop a career.
I bounced around through all sorts of jobs, all over the country, doing this and that and it was a lot of fun. A couple of times, I had some dead-end career starts. But once you get old, you look back and think -- Oh boy, I didn't really do much of anything. 25 is about the time to start thinking about a career. It's real easy to just have a job and have a lot of fun. But you can't see... you can't see 50. And it'll happen faster than you think." When I was 25 I was really focused on meeting certain milestones by certain ages. I wanted to be in a specific job at 25. I wanted to be in a long term relationship by 28, and married by 30. This type of pressure I was putting on myself made it difficult for me to enjoy the ride, and it was causing me to make decisions based more on meeting a certain milestone by a certain age, then on what was the right choice for me, like being in a relationship with the wrong person because I felt I was at the right age.
When I was 25, I was very fortunate to find myself in an industry I became quite passionate about - helping others find joy in their own career path. I wish someone would have told me that in addition to being financially responsible and working hard to get promoted, be sure and take time for your personal passion projects too.
In my case; keep playing the piano and singing in choir! Learn Spanish! Don't wait to take vacations or take cooking classes! It's better to drink the wine one day early than one day late! At 25 I didn't know how important it is to do what you love. I had a great job - but that's all it was - a job. Then I got another great job, & another.
It's hard to know what you love at 25 - but if I would have known I would have gotten to it much sooner. If you don't love what you do, if there's no passion, you will do it for the money & the money will come. When you find something you love you will do it at 5 in the morning & 11 at night. You will be great at it AND enjoy it. A double-whammy! And guess what - the money will come. Find your passion. Here's the most practical advice I can share with you:
It's a huge target, but I think that it's something everyone should strive for. 25 years old was a pivotal time in my professional career. I was fortunate, I got lucky, it was the right product at the right time. I landed the job that would change the trajectory of my professional career.
It was what I did prior in preparation (unknowingly at the time) that positioned my talent with the opportunities. What I did prior preparing for a career in sales would be what I would tell my 25 year old self. I don't think about this the way you do. Instead of looking back and thinking, "well, what I wish I had known..." I like that younger me, with all his ideals and optimism.
Instead, I look at my life now and think, "Would the 21 year old version of me be proud of the adult that I am today?" 1.) You build a meaningful network by making a positive contribution to every relationship.
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AuthorKate Catlin-- some woman who loves biking, learning, sales and thinking about being a better person. Categories
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