I was strongly inspired by Charlie Hoen’s Recession-Proof Graduate Guide which I read going into my senior year in college. I re-tooled the advice to work for me (which basically meant NOT working for free) and I set out to interview every engineering firm in the Spokane and Couer de’Alene area. I wasn’t asking for a job - I was asking for advice. I generally asked the following questions:
I HAVE NO IDEA! I am a clueless 26 year old! :) But see below for advice and stories from others that have really shaped how I feel about this question.
I was strongly inspired by Charlie Hoen’s Recession-Proof Graduate Guide which I read going into my senior year in college. I re-tooled the advice to work for me (which basically meant NOT working for free) and I set out to interview every engineering firm in the Spokane and Couer de’Alene area. I wasn’t asking for a job - I was asking for advice. I generally asked the following questions: Understand the power of compounding. On personal finance, I got this right. The longer your money is in the market, the greater the effect of compounding. One week of diligent financial planning before 25 can literally save you millions over a lifetime. On learning, I got this wrong. I found a barrier to learning things that I wasn’t heavily invested in. It seemed impractical. If you’re not going to become an expert, if you’re not working towards becoming the top 1% and carving yourself a niche, what’s the point? Before 25, I had six months of unemployment with this fear of investing time learning skills I didn’t see myself becoming an expert in. Three months into my next job, I was learning the same skills I was previously fearful of committing to -- in order to find a way out of the skill-set I had just signed a contract to become an expert on. For the first time, I realized how much learning seemingly dissimilar things has overlap and compounds your knowledge of many skills. You will be a totally different person in a few years. I had just gotten out of a long relationship with someone who I thought was the one, and most of my preconceived notions about life - that I'd be married by my mid-twenties, have a job I enjoyed, close adult friends, be really happy, etc. - were completely destroyed. I needed a total reset. That involved a mix of therapy, riding my bike a ton, finishing grad school, finding a new job, and moving far, far away from home. It changed how I view so many things about life and it taught me so much that I don't think I'd even be friends with me at 25. Andrew: "At 25 I was CEO of Startup Weekend. I’d started it at 22. By then it had exploded to 20 countries. I was living in the most beautiful city (Boulder), I built something that a lot of people loved and I was working 7 days a week on it." Kate: "So you had it all. That was probably confusing at such a young age." Andrew: "Yeah it was weird. I was different than most 25 year olds. I’ve always had more confidence than anyone else I know -- I’m sure helped along by societal biases. My whole life I’ve been the tallest guy in the room and one of the smartest so challenges always seemed like tests. I’ve always just gone after things already knowing I’d have a great chance of figuring it out. I discovered this talent for bringing people together, and I made something huge from it. But I had my social life pinned on that, which was great because it was truly what I loved but not like most of my friends social lives. Most of my college friends all had terrible jobs but seemingly had great social lives. I was just so different and enjoyed that." Kate: "So would you change that? Would you tell yourself not to work less and go party more?" Andrew: "Absolutely not. I’m an introvert. I like being home alone on Friday nights. I can manage a drunken two-step, but dancing at a club? No thanks. That was around the time I was figuring that out." Kate: "So… what is it you wish you had known back then?" Andrew: "I have some thoughts for current 25 year olds --
Bill: I was… Hmm. You know, when you graduate matters. The economy had just crashed when I graduated. There was no work available to anybody at the time. I started working with my brother at a car dealership. And then I just… stayed there. For 5 years.
I got so wrapped up in everything. And I guess because jobs had been so few and far between when I was first looking, I was scared to leave and not find something else. You also have to understand -- back when I graduated, it was much more taboo to try a bunch of different jobs. You were supposed to -- you know-- pick a thing and stick to it and build a life. It was just starting to change at that point but jumping around was still considered taboo. When I was 25 I was really focused on meeting certain milestones by certain ages. I wanted to be in a specific job at 25. I wanted to be in a long term relationship by 28, and married by 30. This type of pressure I was putting on myself made it difficult for me to enjoy the ride, and it was causing me to make decisions based more on meeting a certain milestone by a certain age, then on what was the right choice for me, like being in a relationship with the wrong person because I felt I was at the right age.
25 years old was a pivotal time in my professional career. I was fortunate, I got lucky, it was the right product at the right time. I landed the job that would change the trajectory of my professional career.
It was what I did prior in preparation (unknowingly at the time) that positioned my talent with the opportunities. What I did prior preparing for a career in sales would be what I would tell my 25 year old self. "Go west. While you still can. I've been trying to leave Ohio for 20 years. After college, it was like 'ok, hurry up and get a career, then get married then get a car then a mortgage...' I was going to go to England for a year in my 20s but my ex wife shut that down. It felt responsible to not go. That was stupid. So five years later when I got divorced I went to South Africa for a year. I guess what I'm saying is to go for your dreams young, and ignore all the pressure to settle down before you're ready." Dan: "Man just keep pursuing your dreams and your goals. Never give up on your dreams." Kate: "Is this the dream for you? Professional jumping?" Dan: "For sure. A couple weeks ago I base jumped from the top of a skyscraper casino in Vegas to the ground floor--inside. Who gets paid to do that? I'm actually on my way to LA to talk to a TV show about funding a big jump. My agent called me and was like, 'Get in the car, man, this is the come-to-Jesus meeting.' This next jump could be our big break. But if they don't pick it up, we'll just crowdfund it." Kate: "Do you get nervous doing that? Like, before you jump, do you get scared at all?" Dan: "Not anymore. I've done hundreds of jumps. You just gotta stay vigilante, man. My buddy did die recently. Wingsuits in Yosemite. Totally illegal, if you jump in there you have to hit the ground and run or they'll fine you. But they hit a rock face going 180 mph. It was sad, but he wouldn't have felt a thing. He was actually a pretty famous climber around here." Kate: "But you never think about that when you jump?" Dan: "Nah. You can't live life thinking about death." Misty, Hitched Ride on a grocery run, world traveler, professional photographer, Mammoth Lakes, CA7/15/2015
Misty: "...What is it that you hope to get from people when you ask this question?"
(Pause) Kate: "I'm not sure. I'm secretly a pretty anxious person. I worry a lot that I'm not making the right choices or doing things well enough. I'm hoping for some kind of calming wisdom I guess" Misty: "Honey, you're 25. I have a 25 year old. All of you are worrying the same thing." Kate: "I know. I just thought this might be a good way to work my way through things." Misty: "Well, I teach my kids this 'medicine wheel' for when they're feeling un-right:
Kate: "I suppose." Misty: "Sure you have. You sized me up before you got in my car. You sized up the guy you asked at the gas station as I was pulling over too. I noticed you asked the family man rather than the other guy who was on his own. It's important to pay attention that sense. What are you doing out here anyway?" Kate: "I'm in the middle of moving from Detroit to Denver." Misty: "Detroit? How did that happen?" Kate: "There was this guy. It didn't work out. I think my campground is coming up on the left." Misty: "Seems like you're still sad. I know. But remember, sometimes we aren't sure if we love the person we are with or just love being in love. That's actually how I ended up out west -- followed a boy from New York to Arizona. Didn't work out. But hell, it's a way of getting somewhere. And there will be other loves. And when it's the right love, it'll align with your work, your heart and your mind." Kate: "Thanks. I hope so. Thanks for everything." Misty: "Pay it forward, sweetheart, and remember-- you'll be just fine. Stay on your bike. Stop hitching rides. Follow your heart and use the medicine wheel. Best of luck." Follow your heart, trust your gut, and strike while the iron is hot.
You're a better person than you think you are. Happiness comes from freedom. Freedom is having the clarity to see what's in front of you, the grit to do something about it, and the money to make it possible. (P.S. 25-year-old me: You have to practice; I'm still working on this :) Live within your means, don't borrow money, payments make you a slave. Have a few months in the bank, and save 15% for retirement. If you find yourself stuck in something that makes you miserable, you can get out. Life it too short. Aspire to be the kind of life-partner you want to meet, and try to get 1% better every day. Most of life is just showing up. Oh and one last thing, 25 year old me: Get off of your ass! The good life is like a bike tour: travel light, talk to strangers, try to live on $10 a day, do new things, and spend every dime...every ounce of energy...every day...on adventure.
Learn to apologize and mean it. If you don’t mean it, figure out why. If it’s a good reason to not mean it, seek outside advice on the topic. Sometimes it’s important to suck it up and apologize even if you don’t mean it, because a main part of any relationship is compromise.
It’s ok to make mistakes. Learn from them, make yourself better, and do not make the same mistakes again. It’s ok to have no idea what is around the bend for you. Life takes many different paths, and changes can come when you are least expecting them. Everything in moderation. Unless you are allergic to it. In the same vein, be willing and open to try most new things at least once before deciding on them. Unless, of course, you are allergic to them. Read Mr. Money Mustache. He will change your outlook on life and help you save your money and make it work for you. Talking about money, pay yourself first. Read MMM, you will find out the how/why. People keep talking about children. I don’t know if I will have them. They are a part of the human experience, yes, but so are many other things. I just wanted to provide another viewpoint and let you know that it is ok to not have them if you do not want. It is also ok to have them. It is even also ok to change your mind throughout life. Unless you have kids and then 10 years later do not decide you want them. You made that commitment, already. Deal with it. Listen to your heart, but temper it with reason and understanding. We are human, and our heart and feelings are a major part of us. I was going to put something on here about marriage/long-term relationships, but Erika has covered it nicely. I do want to add that love alone is never enough to make a relationship or marriage work, and that it takes an open line of communication and trust, too. With that being said, find someone who makes you feel things you have never felt before, and love them wholly and completely. Communicate with them, trust them, love them, and you will overcome anything.
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AuthorKate Catlin-- some woman who loves biking, learning, sales and thinking about being a better person. Categories
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