I was strongly inspired by Charlie Hoen’s Recession-Proof Graduate Guide which I read going into my senior year in college. I re-tooled the advice to work for me (which basically meant NOT working for free) and I set out to interview every engineering firm in the Spokane and Couer de’Alene area. I wasn’t asking for a job - I was asking for advice. I generally asked the following questions:
I HAVE NO IDEA! I am a clueless 26 year old! :) But see below for advice and stories from others that have really shaped how I feel about this question.
I was strongly inspired by Charlie Hoen’s Recession-Proof Graduate Guide which I read going into my senior year in college. I re-tooled the advice to work for me (which basically meant NOT working for free) and I set out to interview every engineering firm in the Spokane and Couer de’Alene area. I wasn’t asking for a job - I was asking for advice. I generally asked the following questions: You will be a totally different person in a few years. I had just gotten out of a long relationship with someone who I thought was the one, and most of my preconceived notions about life - that I'd be married by my mid-twenties, have a job I enjoyed, close adult friends, be really happy, etc. - were completely destroyed. I needed a total reset. That involved a mix of therapy, riding my bike a ton, finishing grad school, finding a new job, and moving far, far away from home. It changed how I view so many things about life and it taught me so much that I don't think I'd even be friends with me at 25. Krista: "At 25... I had just moved to London and I was starting all over. I came out of college and had a pretty good job. I started working at my step-dad’s company and worked my way up to a pretty senior position. And then suddenly was starting all over at the bottom of a digital agency. I think in the end... I really just thought I knew so much. Sometimes I wish I had known that I... that there is so much to know and experience. I thought I had something to prove. I thought I could prove it by doing my own thing instead of asking more questions and getting the benefit of other people's experience. I don't know if I would have listened to anyone when I was 25 because I was young and headstrong... When I was 25 I worried a lot about whether people liked me. I have always felt like a misfit, especially within a circle of women, so I often tried to fit in by being the nicest, most understanding, most forgiving person I could be. Over and over again I'd give people I didn't even like that much an abundance of my time and energy.
At 25, I wish I had known to always ask "Do I like this person?" before I asked, "Does this person like me." I want my time and energy to be used wisely. PS: I also wish I had known that it is nearly impossible to change someone's mind. PSS: I wish I had known that it was totally normal and okay to be an introvert. At 41, I still feel like a misfit, but I'm much more okay with that now than I was at 25. Yes, Computer Science is where you want to be. But this college isn't. Find a better school. Get a better divorce lawyer, one that can see how timid you are and fight for you - get what you deserve. Don't use fucking credit cards. No, seriously. STOP! Trust your gut - if someone is draining you, leave 'em in the dust. You'll take too long, and they'll take some of you with them. You don't have to be friends with everyone. Spend more time in .NET, you'll need it for, like, the rest of your career. Exercise. Like actually do it. Seriously, your metabolism is slowing way down and it's hard to go back after this. Stay in therapy longer. All in all, if nothing changes, you'll end up pretty ok. Andrew: "At 25 I was CEO of Startup Weekend. I’d started it at 22. By then it had exploded to 20 countries. I was living in the most beautiful city (Boulder), I built something that a lot of people loved and I was working 7 days a week on it." Kate: "So you had it all. That was probably confusing at such a young age." Andrew: "Yeah it was weird. I was different than most 25 year olds. I’ve always had more confidence than anyone else I know -- I’m sure helped along by societal biases. My whole life I’ve been the tallest guy in the room and one of the smartest so challenges always seemed like tests. I’ve always just gone after things already knowing I’d have a great chance of figuring it out. I discovered this talent for bringing people together, and I made something huge from it. But I had my social life pinned on that, which was great because it was truly what I loved but not like most of my friends social lives. Most of my college friends all had terrible jobs but seemingly had great social lives. I was just so different and enjoyed that." Kate: "So would you change that? Would you tell yourself not to work less and go party more?" Andrew: "Absolutely not. I’m an introvert. I like being home alone on Friday nights. I can manage a drunken two-step, but dancing at a club? No thanks. That was around the time I was figuring that out." Kate: "So… what is it you wish you had known back then?" Andrew: "I have some thoughts for current 25 year olds --
"At that age I was always looking THERE, NO THERE, OR THERE, OR THERE [Waves hands gesticulating in different directions]. I was always trying to do something different, you know, always distracted. There were so many different opportunities and I was very confused on which one was the RIGHT one.
As I get older I see… you have to just look like THIS [Puts hands around sides of eyes like horse blinders] you know? Pick one direction. Go that direction. Maybe it’s not the perfect way but at least it’s a way – better than going in circles and getting nowhere." Andy: [In regards to balancing CEO-ship with family] "I've found it's really important to set aside a specific time. I do weekends. All week I'm checking my email, checking my phone... but Saturdays, no. My team has my phone number if there's a real emergency. But that's my time with family." Kate: "So I do this blog [insert explanation]. Is that what you wish you had known when you were 25? Conscientiously setting aside time?" Andy: "Absolutely. Take some time to relax. You need time to think. You need time to figure out solutions to problems. You know, I have my best ideas when I'm out on a bike ride. The right partner helps too. Kate: "But what is the right partner? I mean, what does that mean?" Andy: "Well in some senses you just know, but I guess that's not very practical. I tell my daughters -- find someone who gets you. Find someone you can absolutely be yourself around. I married my friend's sister. She came over for a party at my house and we just talked for hours. I remember my friend coming over at the end of the night and saying they needed to leave and I just didn't know where the time had gone. Your going to be with this person for a long time -- you shouldn't feel like you have to be 'on' or anything other than yourself with them. It should be effortless." "Oh man. My biggest mistake was when I was buying my first house. I got GOT you know what I'm saying? They really sold me.
Do your OWN research before you buy a house. Don't trust what nobody tells you." 1.) You build a meaningful network by making a positive contribution to every relationship.
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AuthorKate Catlin-- some woman who loves biking, learning, sales and thinking about being a better person. Categories
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